Fiction Friday: [Owusu]

It wasn’t a body as much as pieces. Four to be exact. Two arms and two legs. And they weren’t the first sets of limbs to be found. Discovery of the first had sent the media into a frenzy. With the second, serial killer was splashed across every headline and flung from every news anchors lips. After the third, they gave the killer a name…The Butcher. This new find might just send the city into a full blown panic.

The call came in a little after 2 am. They called in Detective Anita Owusu, who wasn’t on duty. She was not a happy camper, drumming her perfectly manicured nails impatiently against the steering wheel the entire ride. The street lights would occasionally glint off the purply-gray polish on her squared shaped nails, drawing her attention.

“What’s the deal?” she asked Suarez who approached her as she arrived. “This isn’t our case. Why are we here?”

Her partner rubbed the back of his neck and couldn’t quite meet her eyes. Her stomach fluttered, nervousness wasn’t an emotion she’d ever seen him wear.

“Owusu.”

Following Marino’s voice, she looked over to find him standing next to Jackson in the tall grass. They glowed, spotlighted by the work lights that formed a harsh line against the blackness surrounding them. Suarez grabbed her arm when she took a step toward them. She waited for him to speak, but instead he pushed up her sleeve, revealing the tattoo on her left wrist.

“What’s going on, Suarez?”

Instead of an answer, he studied her face for a moment before dropping her arm and heading toward the scene. An uneasy feeling trailed behind her as she followed him. Marino and Jackson stood awkwardly as they drew closer.

“Sorry for bringing you down,” Jackson said. “It’s just…”

He exchanged an uncomfortable look with Marino. Then, they both looked to Suarez.

“Just show her,” Suarez said.

She hated being treated like the odd man out and after all her years on the force she didn’t deserve it. The three of them not only knew something, they worried it would upset her. The idea that it was because she was a woman made her angry.

“You got me outta bed for this, so let’s see it,” she said with an edge.

Marino and Jackson parted, allowing her a clear view of the limbs that lay in a square on the grass. The legs parallel to each other and the arms, the same. Slender and delicate, they were undoubtedly female. Just like all the others. Suarez passed her a pair of gloves and Owusu knelt down next to the morbid display as she slid her hands into them. The first thing she noticed was how clean the cuts were. The media’s moniker was even more accurate than they knew.

Starting with the leg on her left, she scanned them each carefully before settling on the left arm at her feet. She was used to tamping down any outward indications of panic, but it was gathering and swelling to a level that she couldn’t control. She tried to swallow, but her throat had gone dry. The sound of her jackhammering heart pounded in her ears.

“Owusu?” Suarez sounded tinny and distant.

She jumped up and ripped the glove off of her left hand and pushed up her sleeve. Holding her arm out in front of her, the butchered limb lay below, out of focus. She studied the black Enso circle that surrounded the open heart made of barbed wire at her wrist. She had designed it herself, an overly stylized reminder of her past. Of how protecting her heart needed to be a priority. Even more telling, the tiny “m&d” that filled the small gap where the circle didn’t quite meet. An homage to the first to break her heart. Her mom and dad.

She looked down at the ground and back to her wrist several times. The tattoo on the bodiless limb was an exact match. There was no doubt. She lowered her arm in an effort to hide the shaking, but she wasn’t able to stop the tears. She watched as they splashed down, striking the victims hand. A scream formed in her throat as they rolled down toward the perfectly manicured, square shaped, purply-gray nails.

Moxie Monday: Hit Pause

Kick start your week with a lil' moxie!

Fiction Friday: [Puzzle Pieces]

The waiter set the plate down in front of me. They called it cake, but there was no frosting. It looked like a wedge of cheese, but nevertheless, there were oohs and ahhs filling empty spaces around the table.  

Not wanting to repeat the embarrassment of eating my salad with the wrong fork, I waited to see what everyone else would do. I looked over at Danny, the only other one at the table that didn’t quite fit. He had used the wrong fork, too. His hands lay on either side of his plate and he used his thumb to touch the tips of each of his fingers—pinky, index, middle, pointer, pinky, index, middle, pointer—over and over again like they were stuck in a loop. His eyes darted around to each plate, surely awaiting guidance like me. A tinkling sound stopped Danny’s fingers mid-loop, gluing his thumbs to his index fingers.

Mr. Dunleavy stood, placed the fork he’d used to tap his glass back on the table, and waited for the conversations to peter out.

“Well, I just wanted to say that this is a big day for the Dunleavy clan. One we’ve been waiting for, for a long time,” He touched a single finger to his lips and closed his eyes for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing. “Our beautiful daughter and her husband have blessed this family with not one, but two new additions. Boys, come on up here.”

Danny eyed me nervously. I knew he was waiting to follow my lead. I remained in my seat and he did the same.

Obstinate was the word they used describe me at the home and after looking up the definition, I bragged about it to the other kids. One of the case workers had overheard me. She tried to convince me that it wasn’t something I should be proud of and I laughed, I couldn’t help it. Maybe she should’ve looked up the definition before trying to convince me of anything. 

Danny was a different story. A nervous Nelly—the case workers words, not mine—he was small for his size and everyone always referred to him as adorable. Being obstinate was way cooler than being a nervous Nelly, but I was still a little jealous. No one had ever referred to me as adorable.

The Dunleavy’s were rich enough to afford the best of everything. Including kids. So why me? Either of us, really. Did they think that dressing us up in suits and ties would carve our edges and shape us into the pieces they needed us to be in order to complete their puzzle?

Glancing over at the man and woman who insisted that we didn’t have to call them mom and dad until we were ready, I fully expected the masks to be off. I was prepared for looks of burning anger in response to our bad behavior. Anger, along with embarrassment, exasperation and irritation…these were the reactions I had grown accustomed to receiving from adults.

Their encouraging gazes threw me off guard and awoke a yearning that scared me. An overwhelming need to do whatever it took to keep them smiling at me. The vulnerability sent my mind racing as I tried to cling to all that had kept me safe for nearly all of my fourteen years. My fear of rejection, my fear of abandonment, loneliness…my fear.

Shifting my gaze to Mr. “Call Me Grandpa” Dunleavy, it was easy to see where his daughter had gotten her smile. His eyes radiated with empathy and I stood before it had even become a thought.

Danny jumped up and smiled at me, his toothy grin filling his entire little face. They were right, he was adorable.  

Book Update: [Beta Readers]

Whoa, it's been a while since I’ve updated you guys on the progress of my book! For the past several months, I have been mired in carving and shaping the story into something I wouldn’t be embarrassed by. Hacking away at flowery dialogue, adding new scenes and slimming down drawn out passages that would surely put readers to sleep. I’ll post about my editing journey soon, but for now I have something else to share.

I have found my way to a fourth draft and it is officially out in the world! Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. It’s in the hands of Beta Readers, which for me—the only one to have read the book so far—feels like I've exposed myself to the whole wide world.

Hitting send was both super exciting and super nerve wracking. Exciting because I feel confident about the story and because there are several scenes that I’m extra proud of. Nerve wracking because, well, what if my rose colored glasses are thicker than I thought they were? I guess I’ll find out soon…

In other big news—and why I’m looking forward to getting feedback—I have signed up to attend the 2014 Writer’s Digest Conference in August. I can't wait to meet other writers and learn as much as I can from sessions targeted at helping me to become a better writer. I also signed up for one of the Pitch Slam sessions, where I will have 90 seconds to convince an agent that my book is worth them taking the risk. Yikes! If nothing else, it will be an amazing learning experience.

Well, that’s it for now and I promise to blog about the trials and tribulations of editing soon. Thanks for reading!

Moxie Monday: The Answer=No one

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Fiction Friday: [Just Enough]

The paint blisters and cracks. Curling, it pulls away from the wood and the flaky pieces dance in the gentle breeze blowing through the kitchen.

She watches, waiting for them to be torn away. When ripped from the wood, they’ll float through the air before settling on the tile floor below. The floor, where tiny, rust colored spots stain the grout.

She absently runs her hand over the finger-shaped hues of purples, reds and pinks on her arm. Slender trails of sickly yellow-green trace their edges. The most delicate spots feel as though her skin had been pulled thin, with nerves electrified at the surface. Glancing over one, she pulls her hand away and sucks her teeth as if it would soften the sting.

She blisters and cracks, curling herself into a ball on the floor. She pulls her attention to the tiles as she rocks gently back and forth.

The tiles will be her advocate. When the inevitable happens—when she no longer exists—it’ll be the tiles that seal his fate. Swabbing between them, they will find her. The bruises will become pieces to a puzzle where the final picture reveals the truth. Then they will know what her life had been. All that she had endured.

Blistering and cracking, she longs to be stronger. Curling into herself, she’s pulled deeper into despair knowing that she isn’t. She feels herself dancing closer to her death. Closer to the day he will kill her.

Until then she will continue to mop up the blood from busted lips and split cheeks, leaving just enough.

Just enough.

Moxie Monday: Dream on Dreamers

Kick start your week with a lil' moxie!

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Fiction Friday: [New York City]

[The city I love, as described through haiku.]

EVERY MORNING
Too many people
During the morning commute
Should have called in sick.

COMMON COURTESY
The train’s so crowded
Yet you still wear your backpack.
I get it. You suck.

STRANGER DANGER
To the guy eyeing
me on the train for too long.
Please don't murder me.

I JUST NEED SOME MILK
Stylishly clad men.
Women setting fashion trends...
At grocery store.

I ❤ NY
Bright lights draw the stares,
but the soul of the city
Is what has my heart.

SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND
How do you stand out
In a city of millions?
Simple. Be yourself.